Top 20 Movie Musical Numbers: Part 2 (10-1)

10. Dentist! (Little Shop of Horrors) 

In the last entry, I talked at length about how deliciously nasty The Hell of It is, but lamented the lack of a visual component. I don't just want to hear a villain wax lyrical about their cruelty, I need to see it too. Enter Dentist!, a truly wicked ode to legal torture from a character who's not even the main villain of the film. It's funny, because although Little Shop of Horrors is so centered around Seymour, Audrey and Audrey II, it's Steve Martin's relatively secondary dentist that steals the show for me. Not only is he Audrey's shithead boyfriend, he's also just massively sadistic, and if Martin was having fun in this cartoonishly evil role before, then I don't even have words for what happens when he starts singing. The bouncy doo-wop music, the deliciously vile delivery and the literal torture he's doling out on his patients make for a number that, horrible as it is, brings so much style and fun to the table that it just makes the whole movie

And I guess it kind of sums up one thing I love about musicals. Dentist! takes something so grim and horrible and gives it a liberal splash of Broadway, turning a sinister subject matter and making it so fabulously wicked. It is a horror musical after all. Over the course of this list, I've talked about villain songs and songs with more twisted undertones, but I don't think there's many that can match how utterly demented this song, and the larger character of Orin Scrivello, truly is. It's fun, it's catchy, and it's deeply fucked up. Welcome to the top 10, folks!

9. Pure Imagination (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)

Wait, Pure Imagination's only at number nine? Well ain't that a kick in the snozzberries. In all seriousness, I love this film, and it's kind of impossible to dispute the pure power of this song in and out of context. Much as I like how Tim Burton's remake provides a revisionist take on musical numbers, there really is something about the first adaptation's soundtrack that really can't be beat. Call it nostalgia or a fear of change, but I really think they nailed it first time out. There's a buffet of bangers to choose from on this soundtrack-I'm even quite partial to the notorious Cheer Up Charlie- but as soon as I hear the opening notes of Pure Imagination, the decision is already kind of made. From the literal eye candy of the set design to the quiet chaos of Gene Wilder's performance and the quietly heartfelt lyrics, it really is just irresistible

So maybe it is the safest choice on this list, but it really just exemplifies why Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is such a perfect film that encapsulates everything that is great and awful about being a child. Before Wonka goes all Jigsaw and punishes the worst traits of youth, he opens the journey with this poignant ode to childlike wonder. That's a theme that comes up time and time again in this film, and is kind of the whole point of Grandpa Joe's character. Pure Imagination is a beautiful little number that tells kids that, as long as they have the power to dream, the possibilities are endless, and they can do just about anything. Like bring a group of unsuspecting children down a scary hell tunnel or drop a little girl into a furnace

8. Step in Time (Mary Poppins)

Picking a song from the Mary Poppins duology was... challenging. I mean there's a lot of them, and the level of both variety and brilliance is strong across the board. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is the iconic pick, Feed the Birds is beautiful and Let's Go Fly a Kite is lovely, and Returns is no slouch either with cuts like Trip a Little Light Fantastic and The Place Where the Lost Things Go, but a choice had to be made, and purely on the basis of the number that gives me the most consistent joy, it's hard to beat Step in Time. Chimneysweeps! Dancing! Dick van Dyke's legendarily awful Cockney accent! Mary Poppins is, at its heart, a celebration of the joyful things in life, and although there's no shortage of tunes that bring the cheer factor, there are few numbers in either film that are uniquely bouncy and catchy as Step in Time

The cross-roof choreography is amazing of course, birthing the subtle art of chimneysweep gymnastics in a way that few films can rival. On top of that, Mary Poppins gets in on the action and even then it's not even anywhere close to reaching peak joy as the 'sweeps dance through the Banks household, chanting their support for the suffragettes and boisterously welcoming Mr. Banks home. It is infectiously happy in a way that only Mary Poppins can deliver, and although pretty much every song in the film matches it for Sherman Brothers goodness, none of them can put a smile on my face quite like this one

7. Ain't There Anyone Here For Love (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes)

Oh Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, why don't people talk about you more? When you think of this film's musical numbers, you might go straight for Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend and that's okay. It's a wonderful, iconic sequence that uses Marilyn Monroe's indelible star power to incredible effect. But I've mentioned before that I adore Jane Russell in this film, and so it's her glorious, innuendo-laden anthem that takes 7th place on this list. It's bouncy, upbeat and loaded with some tack-sharp quips as Russell's Dorothy Shaw outlines her ideal man and brings a team of Olympic athletes along for the ride, I think a lot of what I've said about other songs can be applied to this one, and if you're starting to notice my fondness for fun, energetic numbers packed with gags, then you're not wrong, but to be fair, none of the others have Jane Russell's innocently filthy badminton metaphors

And I think that's what makes it work. There's a cheekiness to Ain't There Anyone Here For Love that really makes it pop, and Russell sells the witty frothiness of the whole thing perfectly. I love the way she owns the screen, using the training Olympians as human props and making a meal of all of her vocal deliveries. The set design and staging is relatively simple but with a performer like Jane Russell at the centre, it never really needed to be flashy or intricate. The genius of the film is how well it balances the screwball comedy and the musical numbers, never switching between them so much as seamlessly blending them, and this song is absolute proof of that. Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but at the end of the day, I know what gym I'm training in

6. Human Voice (Anna and the Apocalypse)

If I'm being honest, part of me devised this list as a roundabout excuse to talk about Anna and the Apocalypse, the Scottish zombie Christmas musical that is every bit as good as that combination of words would imply. It's got a fairly formidable soundtrack, and although I was spoiled for choice, the decision ultimately worked out to be pretty easy. Human Voice is the song that I think transforms Anna and the Apocalypse, where the genre-blend goes from novel to having a real impact and the film goes from good to great. Because yes, the film has so much fun with it's festive toetapping blooshed, and numbers like Hollywood Ending and Turning My Life Around are absolute showstoppers, but as the survivors find themselves separated from their loved ones and totally cut off by destroyed phone lines, the film hits a note of striking poignancy

Okay so the commentary is a little on the nose but in context, that's kind of secondary. Yeah the song is kind of about our reliance on technology and total vulnerability if that was stripped away, but what makes Human voice work is the moment of of total openness it lends these characters. This is a crisis, and in this moment of quiet reflection, they're all desperately seeking some kind of comfort. No jokes, no ironic genre-riffing, just a surprising moment of gravity that hits hard because it nearly comes out of nowhere. Add smart lyrics, incredible performances by the whole cast and a sense of genuine despair and you have a real musical kick in the teeth

Seriously though, if you haven't seen Anna and the Apocalypse, do your yourself a favour and take the plunge, It is incredible

5. I Only Have Eyes For You (Dames)

This list was difficult to compile for a number of reasons. Part of this came from the sheer volume of musical numbers in films, but the main thing that really struck me when I put this together is how many ways there are for a musical number to succeed. Some of these songs made the grade for their music, lyrics and general performance, but if you're familiar with Busby Berkley, you'll know exactly why I Only Have Eyes For You is on this list. Because sure, the actual song is a little on the simple side, and from a purely musical level, it's really nothing special. But as we move into the top 5, I'm really looking for the kind of scenes that deliver huge amounts of euphoria. The best of the best, the cream of the crop, the musical numbers that are truly individual. And oh my god is this pure visual overload. Berkley is kind of the master when it comes to intricate choreography, to the point where they were the only scenes he directed in the films he worked on but this is on another level altogether

 

Basically, an impossible huge number of dancers create an intricate routine involving lots and lots of pictures of Ruby Keeler's face, before creating a giant picture of Ruby Keeler's face made out of women who kind of look like Ruby Keeler, but the Keeler overload pays off big time. In between these moments of facial intricacy is a dance routine that can only be described as satisfyingly geometric. Big wheels full of singing women! Stairways to nowhere! Mirror trickery! And then there's the transition to an army of dancers in huge dresses who flip their skirts to form the aforementioned giant portrait of the film's female lead. There is something slightly depressing about Busby Berkley in that nothing on this level would even be attempted now but watching a sequence so gorgeously complicated play out so elegantly is more than enough to remember this golden age of musical intricacy by

4. Good Morning (Singin' in the Rain)

So you're Don Lockwood. Your grand transition to the world of talkies, The Dueling Cavalier, has blown up in your face, leaving you dejected and lost in the middle of the night. But wait! What's this? The morning has come, and a new day has risen, both literally and metaphorically. Singin' in the Rain is one of the greatest films of all time, and certainly one of my favourites, but picking a number to represent it on this list was kind of a no-brainer. I just love how Lockwood and co. find joy after such a low moment, and it's that lovely, cheerful hangout vibe that makes Good Morning so utterly irresistible. It's a shot of pure glee, but what separates it from similarly joyful musical numbers, at least for me, is how much emphasis in places on the importance of finding happiness in misfortune. It's not just a uplifting song, but one that is explicitly about picking yourself up after a mishap and appreciating the start of a new day

I love this one for a few reasons but I think the key to what makes it work is the dancing. That sounds obvious given the general vibe of Singin' in the Rain and the Gene Kelly-ness of it all but it's crucial to making this scene feel like a celebration. Dancing plays a role in all of the film's numbers- giving levity to Make 'Em Laugh, playfulness to Moses Supposes and carrying the entire plot of Broadway Melody- but it feels especially crucial here. Don, Kathy and Cosmo are just so happy in each other's company that they literally can't stay still and choose to dance their problems away rather than dwell on something that can't be changed. I'm also aware that this song wasn't written for the film and actually comes from 1939's Babes in Arms, but I prefer this version, so that's why it's on here. It's just pure, pure joy, a perfect song from a perfect film

3. America (West Side Story)

I said up top that this isn't a list of the most iconic musical numbers, but it was kind of impossible to avoid talking about America at some point. And hey, being famous is no bad thing, and taking a look at this scene in depth, it's not hard to see why it's so beloved. Rita Moreno obviously delivers one of the greatest performances in any film, so bombastic and electric and full of both heart and sly humour. As her Anita convinces Bernard that emigrating to America was the best decision they ever made, he retorts with a series of comebacks that still hold weight 60 years later. Although she's the focal point of the number and passionately pro-America, the real genius of this song is how Anita's perspective is juxtaposed against Bernard's to create a really cutting social comment. Add to that the bouncy Latin percussion and a rhythm that borders on being a guajira, and you've got a seriously punchy musical number

Sondheim's lyrics are the absolute key here, so sharp and sly and powerfully delivered. "Life is alright in America if you're all white in America" is an incredibly effective dig that hits harder now than ever. And that's the beauty of America, and West Side Story as a whole: it's a story that never goes away, and in updating Romeo and Juliet, Ernest Lehman has given the Bard's romance a fresh lick of impossibly relevant paint. America is a great song in an incredible film, and even on top of everything it nails thematically, it's just a really fun sequence. The back-and-forth is playful and fun, the dancing creates such an effortless sense of joy and the music is just irresistibly catchy. What more is there to say? It's West Side Story, it's Steven Sondheim, and it's Rita Moreno

2. Puzzlin' Evidence (True Stories)

Did you know that in 1986, David Byrne made a musical entirely composed of Talking Heads songs, and it's awesome? True Stories is a bit of an oddity, but is utterly glorious all the same. Following Byrne as a sort of wanderer figure arriving in a small town celebrating its 150th anniversary, the beauty of True Stories' numbers lie in their baffling mundanity, ranging from a beautiful rendition of Dream Operator at a mall-set fashion show to a group of kids using makeshift instruments to bang out Papa Legba. But the best, at least in my opinion, is Puzzlin' Evidence, where a wild-eyed preacher spits conspiracy theories on his hapless flock as a yellow-clad choir backs him up with euphoric chanting. It's totally off-kilter and I love every minute of it

Sure it's not most sophisticated or well-choreographed number in the world, but the sheer energy of it, the wild riffs on the Church of the SubGenius and the delightfully bonkers performance of John Ingle is absolutely what makes this such a standout. True Stories is hardly an orthodox entry in the genre but the beauty of Talking Heads has always been that wild experimentation, being able to do something different without calling too much attention to it. There's no slick self-awareness or attempts to mark itself as an innovation, just pure crazy coolness that bounds out of Byrne's brain and hits you straight in the soul, rewriting the very idea of the screen musical in the process. And that's the gospel truth 

1. Think Pink (Funny Face)

It's slightly ironic that the best song in Funny Face- a film that acts as a monument to the star power of Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn- doesn't actually feature either of the two leads, but it's hard for me to think of any opening number that sets the scene better than Think Pink. It's just perfect on every level. It's essentially a sly joke about the fashion industry and the way they create trends, using carefully placed suggestions to guide the consumer toward their brand. Even so, there's nothing malicious at work in Think Pink, which even when it is making a comment feels incredibly good natured. Like many of my favourites, there's a lightness and a sense of joy, but this one in particular feels totally tethered to one idea. The theme of "it", the elusive, perfect trait that the fashion industry tries to bottle and sell, is something that's kind of central to Funny Face, and right from the start, the film hits us with a song that feels thematically true before it has time to even set up its plot

The song itself is ace too, with a tight rhyme structure and a bouncy instrumental that keeps things light and breezy. It's an effective tonesetter that stuns even when it's viewed in isolation. I mean, this is how you start a musical, easing the audience into the film's style while also giving the indelible Stanley Donen room to flex his muscles. At this point he had already set the screen alight with impeccable direction in films like On the Town and Singin' in the Rain, but Funny Face is the film that I think really highlights his mission statement in terms of bringing musicals to the screen in a uniquely cinematic way. He makes use of every trick and tool that the medium gives him, from split-screen and jump cuts to animation and intricate staging. It also helps that it's in beautiful technicolor, perfectly establishing the style he'd later perfect in films like Charade

It just ticks all of the boxes. There's obviously no set of criteria for what a musical number should be. One thing I wanted this list to be was a celebration of the genre and the glorious variety it brings with it, but Think Pink is just the perfect scene for me, one that takes every aspect of musical cinema and perfects everything it tries to do. I wouldn't presume to tell my readers what to think, but if you have to think, think Think Pink. I've been the Scoundrel of the Screen, and I do hope you join me for my next list. Word of warning though: it might get weird

My Thoughts on In the Heights

 Lin Manuel Miranda knows a thing or two about dreams. After all, he turned his into two Tony sweeping smash-hits, and has rode the subsequent wave of success to everything from animated Disney smashes to delightful reboots of beloved 60s musicals. Even so, it's important to remember where it all started, which is fortunate, because that's kind of what In the Heights is about. What began as a one-act show written by a 19 year-old Miranda has blossomed into this, a huge big-screen production dancing its way onto the screen as cinemas are slowly coming back from their year-and-a-bit-hiatus. Honestly it's just great to have a musical blockbuster on this scale, especially when it's a quasi-original one like In the Heights. It's proven to be a sure thing on Broadway but the question is this: how well does LMM's ode to Washington Heights translate to screen? Well...

In the Heights tells the story of Usnavi, a put-upon dreamer struggling to keep his Washington Heights bodega open as he yearns to return to the Dominican Republic and revive his family's business. Along the way, we're introduced to a cavalcade of characters, all with their own stories and dreams, and before long, the film has woven a bustling network of players and made the neighbourhood feel positively alive, before complicating it with a mid-film blackout. To say any more would give away some of the film's more impactful notes, but by crafting such a convincing, dynamic world so early on, In the Heights is able to create a compelling narrative from the start, and keep it going over the lengthy but surprisingly warranted runtime

Of course, it wouldn't be much of a musical without songs, and although they're lifted almost directly from the stage, the film utilises each of its tunes to wonderful effect. Miranda stumbles slightly with some of the slower numbers (did we really need two duets from Nina and Benny?), which work fine in the context of the story but struggle to match the power of his more energetic efforts. Thankfully, when he does let rip with his trademark hip-hop-Broadway fusion, it's electric stuff. From the flowing opener to the huge finale, In the Heights has tracks to spare. 96,000 is a glorious ode to dreamers, No Me Diga brings delightful old-school musical charm, and Carnival Del Barrio is an absolute showstopper, but the standout numbers come in the film's second act hat trick. From the alarmingly quick The Club to the stunning Paciencia Y Fe by way of Blackout's punchy intensity, it's a magical 20-ish minute sequence that winds up the movie's greatest emotional blow, and the combination of style and substance is brutally effective

None of this would be possible without the cast, and there really isn't a weak link here. Singling out any of the players is a fool's errand, but special mention to Anthony Ramos as the eyes we view this sweeping tale of a Summer rife with both dreams and frustrations through. The trick of casting actors like Ramos and Olga Merediz-both of whom played their respective roles in stage productions of In the Heights- is a simple one but the film is no less effective for it. The acting is often seamless, carrying the plot where lesser films would buckle under their runtime. And that's the secret of In the Heights: creating a cast of characters that are enjoyable to be around. Especially on a revisit, the pure charisma of the cast means that the few snags it does it are much easier to overlook

Not that there are many issues. Some plots are more interesting than others and the film never really fleshes Vanessa out enough for her emotional beats to really resonate, but the film succeeds in creating this gorgeously immersive vibe that allows it to pick up the slack quickly enough. The pacing is strong, really leaning on plot-heavy scenes to drive the action, but the film always gives itself enough time to step back and admire what it's built. It's just a superb Summer film, one that is able to combine so many flavours and make them all fit together wonderfully. It's an ode to dreamers, a celebration of Latinx identity and a hugely enjoyable hangout film. It enjoys its huge stagey musical numbers but knows when to cut them with some surprisingly stinging social commentary

But the most important and admittedly simple ingredient to making it work is the fact that Usnavi is a really likable character. It sounds basic but it's true, and by putting someone who's so easy to root for at the forefront, it means everything else can just fall into place. It's a big film, not least because it's so connected to its own legacy as a Broadway production, but it's to the credit of everyone involved that In the Heights is just such an engaging experience, one that will only grow on repeat viewings. Fun, smart and heartfelt, it cranks the big screen musical right up to 96,000

★ ★ ★ ★1⁄2

My Thoughts on Raya and the Last Dragon

 

Disney have spent the last decade in uncharted territory. That seems like an odd thing to say about a company that can guarantee a billion with a half-hearted remake of an old favourite, and in that regard, there's nothing surprising about Disney's recent output, but if you look at the films themselves, it starts to get more interesting. Their last few animated efforts-Moana, Zootopia the Wreck-It Ralph duology- have all drawn inspiration from more varied sources than Disney have done before, and while the studio has never been a stranger to exploring different stories, they haven't had a streak so rich with both diversity and quality in decades.

To that end, Raya and the Last Dragon is a welcome addition to the lineup, an animated fantasy epic that, even from its opening minutes, distinguishes itself from some of Disney's more frivolous fare and harkens back to the darker curios in their catalogue, such as Atlantis: The Lost Empire and The Black Cauldron. The plot follows Raya, a noblewoman wandering the wasteland in search of the last surviving dragon and the key to uniting five nations that have been turned against each other by growing distrust. Trust- and the lack of it- is a key theme in Raya, and by anchoring the high concept to such a simple, universal idea, the film is able to hit a hot streak early on and keep it going

The best parts of Raya are the moments where the tried and true Disney formula rubs up against something slightly fresher and more exciting. It's undoubtedly an entry in the Disney Princess canon but it brings some new ingredients to the table to signal the direction that brand is moving in. The film leans firmly into the adventure genre and places greater focus on worldbuilding and character relations. It's slightly darker than previous entries, but the added seriousness really suits the feel of the story. At the same time, it still finds room for animal sidekicks and more than one plucky comic relief, but places them in a new context to mine them for renewed effect.

Again, it's because the story is built around such a simple idea that the film is able to spend more time on the details of the world. Every character is defined by trust, each one of the five nations defined by their role in an early film betrayal, and every emotional turning point stems from one of the players addressing their own biases in the face of a greater good. This extends to Raya too, whose internal defense mechanisms ultimately become the backbone of the film's conflict. Kelly Marie Tran brings our heroine to life with careful, measured deliveries, which is a perfect compliment to the ever reliable Awkwafina, who brings both levity and a surprising amount of weight to the role of Sisu, the titular last dragon

All things considered, it's another strong entry in a reliable catalogue. The more solemn tone might take some getting used to but for a younger audience it's the perfect gateway to similarly story-driven fantasy stories such as Samurai Jack or Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic. Either way, it's an interesting take on a brand that's not going anywhere anytime soon, and with gorgeous animation, smart worldbuilding and a charming cast of characters, it's a fairly successful 107 minutes

★ ★ ★ ★

My Thoughts on A Quiet Place: Part II

The first Quiet Place came out of nowhere: an original blockbuster(!) helmed by Jim from The Office that delivered both thrills and heart, and managed to set up a sequel relatively organically. And though we've had to wait a while, it's finally arrived, so let's get into it. Before we begin, this is a spoiler-free zone, so don't worry about having any of the monster-fleeing goodness ruined for you here. Now, shall we?

Opening with a flashback, AQP2 threatens its audience with an unspeakable horror: over-explanation. Thankfully, it's just a tone setter, providing some context to a story that begins almost where the first left off. It doesn't really serve the plot but it does give us the chance to reacquaint with these characters, the perfect reintroduction to ensure that our empathy with them hasn't waned in three years. From there, the plot splits into a search for help and a fight for survival, and it's to the film's huge benefit that it keeps things fairly simple. There's not much to either storyline, all the better for the thrills to resonate and hoo boy do they ever. Now that the "creatures that hunt by sound" premise has been broken in, the film is able to really hone in on the relentless, electric shocks, and right from the start, it manages to find a really confident flow.

 Because AQP2 hits such a confident rhythm early on, it's able to place so much more faith in the audience and avoid burdening them with an abundance of plot, which leaves more room for the shocks. From quick darts of terror to more sustained releases of tension, Krasinski is incredibly adept at juggling different but consistently effective methods of delivering thrills, and because he's unleashing them on a cast of characters that are largely known to the audience, he's able to ensure that the stakes are always felt. The plot takes a slight backseat but the film places a clear goal for one set of characters, before having fun exploring all the ways it can keep that just out of reach for them. As for the other main storyline, it largely functions as a way to keep the adrenaline flowing, but it's engaging enough, and gives us more time to admire the beautifully nasty creature designs, which is no bad thing. 

A lot of what this film does well (simple but electric tension, genuine affection for its characters, no-frills creature attacks) was also present in its predecessor, but what's interesting is what this second installment adds. For one, it gives fairly interesting insight into what the rest of mankind has been up to. No spoilers, but one dockside dalliance gives weight to the old speculative fiction metric that the need to survive blurs the line between man and monster.

And as long as we're talking about newcomers, there's also Cillian Murphy's Emmett. Much more than a mere Krasinski stand-in, he's the family's introduction to the world outside the farm, something that becomes all the more thrilling when he finds himself completely out of his depth. There's a small moment of sound design that signals his role in the story, where the film mirrors a moment between Emmett and Regan with an early gesture she shares with her father, and brilliant as it is, it sort of exists to be subverted as Regan proves herself to be more than capable of filling the role of protector. Millicent Simmonds again delivers the performance that defines the film, seamlessly becoming a figure of hope and cementing her status as an iconic figure in modern horror. She's also just a great protagonist, effortlessly guiding the audience through a narrative that's too taut for comfort.

And that's one of the film's only real issues. The tension is maximised and Krasinski chooses action over horror, and while there's nothing wrong with that, it does mean that the film can forget to let its plot sit with the audience and place all of its focus on getting to the next setpiece. This is something that the first film did while also giving itself room to breath, and although Part II plays as an effective rollercoaster of a film, and does everything it needs to do, it moves a little too quickly and ends a mite too suddenly to really deliver any sort of cohesive point to the story.

But as an exercise in stress and an excuse to check in on the most unfortunate family in the post-apocalypse, A Quiet Place: Part II more than delivers. It's got a habit of investing too heavily in thrills but after a year out of the cinema, that's hardly a bad thing. It's light on plot but doubles down on what made the first such a triumph, and in the process manages to provide a punchy, breathless 97 minutes. It's not quite as elegant or as impactful as the first but it does tap into a rush of pure adrenaline and twist that into a pretty engaging feature length chase. Does it have the legs to keep this franchise going? Maybe not, but in the here and now, it's a decent way to return to cinemas.

★ ★ ★ ★ 

Top 20 Movie Musical Numbers Part 1 (20-11)

 Let's talk musicals. With In the Heights currently lighting up cinema screens, I thought I'd revisit one of the oldest and most beloved genres in cinema, and one that I know I can come back to time and time again for some great tunes, energetic performances and a sense of fun that few other genres can offer. And what is a musical without musical numbers? This list was so hard to put together. Getting it down to 20 was so tough but I think I'm happy with what I have. Before we start, I feel like I should run down some ground rules to outline exactly what I look for in a musical number

1.The songs have to be musical numbers, not just songs performed in the film. We're specifically looking at movies where people burst into song and sing how they feel, so that disqualifies the like of Cabaret, The Blues Brothers, School of Rock, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Once and Wild Rose. All great movies, but not quite what we're looking for here

2. I'm mainly looking at musicals, but if a movie has a musical number, even if it's not a musical outside of that, it counts. Think something like Wise Up from Magnolia, one of many honorable mentions for this list

3. I'm rating these on a combination of factors. First off, the song itself. How does it sound? What are the lyrics like? How does it fit into the larger plot of the film? Second, the way the number plays out. Performance is key here, and I'm really going to look at how creatively the song is brought to the screen. Spectacle gets you a long way on this list, and I'll be looking for scenes that go all out in the musical stakes

4. Just to add to the last rule, I won't be factoring in how iconic a song is. This isn't a popularity contest, and while a lot of these songs are really well loved, I'm purely going off of personal preference, so if the song you love from your favourite musical doesn't make the cut, then I'm sorry but this is just my list of songs from musicals that get me going

5. No Disney songs. At least not from their animated films anyway. There's just so many to choose from and I think the only way to honour that correctly is by giving them their own list

Alright, I think that's all the bases covered. This is going to be a big one, so let's crack on while there's still time before the curtain rises. These are my top 20 musical numbers from movies!

20. I'm On My Way (Paint Your Wagon)

Let's kick things off with a great opening song. Paint Your Wagon is an... odd film. I've got a pretty big soft spot for it but between the bulky 154 minute runtime, the unconventional musical numbers and a plot that's thin even by musical standards, it's definitely more of a curio as far as musicals go. Fortunately, it's blessed with an absolute belter of an opener. Starting with this rousing chorus chanting "goooooooold" before kicking off with a spirited ode to the life of a prospector, I'm On My Way has energy to spare. I love the way this thing sounds, with this big group of men on a journey together, celebrating their pursuit of wealth. It's so joyous, and I love the idea of all the different languages that come in a few verses into the song. It really fits for this opener about people coming together in search of one thing, and it starts the film off really nicely

It's only number 20 however, because it kind of slouches in the visual department. It mainly plays over the opening credits, which are fine, but it kind of feels like a waste of this kind of sound. Listen to it on its own and it conjures up images of men dancing around these huge wagon trains, bursting into song out of pure excitement for what they'll find when they start digging. I don't know, it's a lot of energy for such low-key visuals, and even when we do get some footage to go with it, it still feels too relaxed for something that sounds so bombastic. All the same, it's a fun, catchy number, and a great start to this list

19. Journey to the Past (Anastasia)

Anastasia is fine. It's not a bad film, but it's definitely one of the weaker entries in the Don Bluth catalogue, and the imitation Disney style doesn't do much to make it stand out. But my god do those songs bang. This has one of the best soundtracks of any animated film, and I was spoiled for choice, from the glorious Once Upon a December to the unbelievably catchy In the Dark of the Night. But it's Journey to the Past that really does it for me, from the charming, twinkly opening to the huge ballad that blossoms out of it. I love the vocals here, with Liz Callaway absolutely giving it socks as the song builds into this huge, heartfelt ballad. The lyrics are simple but smart, and the way Callaway delivers them really does a great job of reflecting how Anastasia's confidence grows as the song goes on

And then there's the visuals, and my god does this scene look amazing, like a living, breathing painting. I love the designs in this film, and Bluth's animation is as slick and smooth as ever. It perfectly complements the sound of the song, toning down on the lavish designs of a Secret of Nimh or an All Dogs Go to Heaven in favor of simple but effective visuals. Journey to the Past just really stands out among Anastasia's already stacked songbook, and really makes the case for animated music outside of the Disney catalogue

18. Every Sperm is Sacred (The Meaning of Life)

The Life of Brian is not a film about religion. It's also not a musical, but I bring it up because it's frequently cited as Monty Python's great pisstake of Christianity. Personally I've always seen it as a satire on the stupidity of blind groupthink, but if you want to hear the group take religion to task-in song form no less- then look no further than Every Sperm is Sacred, a gloriously brazen take on Catholicism that simultaneously spoofs moral righteousness, anti-contraception mindsets and 1968's Oliver in one fell swoop. It's just really funny, especially as the song goes on and more and more people start to sing about the dangers of wasting sperm. It starts with Michael Palin and his absurdly large family, before throwing in singing statues, a musical corpse, and a cameoing Michael Caine

It's so silly, and if it's not quite on the level of the group's best satire, then it definitely earns points for how far they take the gag. The comedy musical number is an underappreciated art, and Every Sperm is Sacred impresses for just how far they go into the realms of bad taste. It's not big or clever but it is hysterical, and the sheer shock value that comes from seeing this for the first time has to count for something. It also sounds really good, with the jaunty piano giving it that charming Consider Yourself vibe. I don't know, it's just a great joke delivered in song that keeps escalating and escalating, before exploding into pure musical ecstasy. Hang on, that just got really gross

17. Pinball Wizard (Tommy)

Ah yes, the classic set-up: a deaf, dumb and blind boy taking on Elton John in a pinball tournament to win eternal arcade glory. When it comes to the 1975 Whosical, there's a wealth of songs to choose from, but it's the most beloved song in the film that makes it onto this list. And can you blame me for picking it? Trippy camera movement, insane premise and the thumping, catchy music make for an absolute fever dream of a musical number, and part of what gets it on this list is just that: the weirdness of it all. Tommy is a strange film, even among Ken Russell's filmography, and this scene is a perfect encapsulation of the film's surreal genius. Elton John is an amazing addition here, too, from his giant boots to his back and forth with the crowd. He's totally on the film's wavelength, and watching him get more and more exasperated as the song goes on is a real joy. Speaking of, the scene when it switches between their facial expressions, and we get to bask in some beautiful overacting is easily my favourite part of this whole thing

I just love how it embraces the weirdness of Tommy, from the cartoonish set design to the amazingly silly lyrics ("He ain't got no distractions, he plays by sense of smell"), and then combines those things with the huge sound of The Who. It's a standout banger in a rock opera full of them, and in a genre that lives and dies by its concepts, it absolutely aces it. Pinball Wizard is a number that would feel out of place in any other musical but it's right at home amidst the insanity of Tommy. Also I know I mentioned them before but I really just want to know where Elton John gets his boots because wow they're really something

16. The Inquisition (History of the World Part 1)

For as much as I love Mel Brooks, I've never fully gotten on board with History of the World Part 1. It just feels way too inconsistent. I really don't gel with the Stone Age gags or the overlong Ancient Rome stuff, but it also hits some gems that remind me why I fell in love with Brooks in the first place, like Hitler on Ice, the sequence in King Louis' court, and this, a riotous, old-school Broadway style send-up of torture and religious persecution. Mel Brooks thrives off jokes like these, where the worst that humanity has to offer are made to look as ridiculous as possible, and turning the Spanish Inquisition's savagery into song definitely qualifies. He takes something so unspeakably horrible and imbues it with showy satire and his trademark wit

The set design is incredible, the choreography is surprisingly ace for what is clearly a gag musical number, and there's a very knowing approach to how uncomfortable the whole premise is that allows The Inquisition to have aged amazingly well. And that's the thing: this song is undoubtedly in poor taste, but there's something to be said about how much Brook relishes in crossing the line. This is at the heart of everything that he's done in some way or another, and the idea of taking control by being the one laughing rather than the butt of the joke is exactly what makes his gags so sharp, and this is no exception. It just keeps escalating and escalating, until it naturally explodes into a synchronized swim routine complete with killer nuns. Because of course it does

15. I Can Hear the Bells (Hairspray)

John Waters' 1988 Hairspray is great. I love it, a lot, and it'd definitely be one of my favourite musicals.... y'know, if it was one. Yeah, it's a weird one, because the tone is there, the plot's there, and the general Waters campiness is there, but the songs just never come. Don't worry though, because Broadway had our backs on this one, transforming Hairspray into the musical smash it was always destined to be, before gracing cinema yet again by adapting the wonderful tale of Tracy Turnblad into a delightful big screen romp. And I love this film. It's fun as all hell, and never sacrifices the essential Waters spirit in updating the plot. And as Tracy drifts into a blissful daydream. the film's bouncy soundtrack and on-point body positivity really come into effect

I Can Hear the Bells is a fun scene in a film where every scene is bursting with joy, and what I love about this one in particular is what it's able to do on a slightly smaller scale than something like Welcome to the 60s or Big Blonde and Beautiful. I know I said I was looking for spectacle on this list, but I can't think of many dream sequences in films where we don't actually see the dream, and seeing Tracy float through her day, totally lost in a fantasy and confusing everyone around her is too pure not to love. It's another really funny musical number but this one gets extra points for how sweet it is, letting Tracy have her moment and keeping all of the gags in good fun instead of playing the setup entirely for laughs. Hairspray is a good natured film anyway but I love how unabashedly kind this song is. Even when Tracy calls out Amber and the rest of her bullies, there's a strange amount of positivity that could only come from a character as joyfully optimistic as she is. It's a song that makes me float off the ground every time I hear it, and it sums up everything that's great about Hairspray as a film and a concept

14. Luck Be a Lady (Guys and Dolls)

A dingy basement full of spiritually confused gangsters. A game of craps with impossibly high stakes. Marlon Brando breaking out his lesser-seen singing voice. None of these scream showstopper but Guys and Dolls is no ordinary musical, and this is not your average setup for a song. And yet, as Sky desperately pleads with the forces of the universe to grant him the fortune to win the game and make good on an even larger wager, Guys and Dolls finds its best number in the most unlikely of places. The unconventional setting and swinging horns instantly make this one stand out, but what really makes it work is Brando. Sky's swagger shines even as he desperately works to keep his cool. It's basically the internal monologue of a man who has upped the odds a little too much and finds himself having to put his money where his mouth is. In song!

It's just got this perfect swagger to it, where the effortless cool of Marlon Brando perfectly gels with Frank Loesser's brassy, slick lyrics. I also love how the other gangsters come in as the song goes on like some sort of ominous chorus daring Sky to go through with the bet. It's an A+ musical number in a film full of them, and although it's maybe a little on the simple side as far as performances go, the sense of energy and the way it escalates to a huge conclusion always puts a smile on my face. It's a classic, and for good reason

13. Movin' Right Along (The Muppet Movie)

To find exactly what I was looking for, I had to be pretty strict on the rules for this list, and as a result, there were a lot of casualties. I nearly had The Rainbow Connection on here but because that song is largely diegetic (in the original film at least), I couldn't count it without reconsidering the entire formula of the list, and then this would never get done. But it's not like the Muppetverse is lacking when it comes to amazing musical numbers. Shoutout to the reboot and its sequel for really going all in and bringing on Flight of the Conchords' Brett McKenzie to pen the bulk of the soundtrack but for my money, there are few things as joyous as a bear in his natural habitat. A Studebaker.

Movin' Right Along is a slightly more low-key tune than some of the other Muppets songs but it's infectiously catchy and packs some gut-bustingly funny lyrics, which really solidify its charm. And that's what gets this song on the list: simple, honest charm. The sheer joy that this track radiates never fails to put a smile on my face, and because it's in what is essentially a Muppet origin story, it also perfectly lays out the MO of these fuzzy freaks- do whatever it takes to do what you love, no matter how questionable your talent is. As Fozzie and Kermit speed down the road to Hollywood, this folksy tune scores their journey to stardom. It's everything I love about the Muppets bottled and shaken up until it pops and sprays down pure puppety glee all over the audience. It's also got a sneaky Big Bird cameo. And you can't hate a scene that does that

12. La Resistance (South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut)

 

There's an alarming amount of people who see Bigger, Longer and Uncut as some sort of parody musical which is ridiculous because it's A) a full-blooded, smartly written collection of absolute showstoppers and B) one of the best animated musicals ever made. As for the best song? That's a tough one, but why choose one when you can pick several rolled into one? La Resistance may not be what everyone thinks when they think of this film and that's fine, but I love how it samples a little bit of each of the movie's best tunes. A little bit of Blame Canada, a dash of Satan wishing for a better life, a snippet of Terrence and Philip celebrating fucking uncles as they prepare to be executed, all the best stuff from the first two thirds of this insane pisstake.

It sends up the big rousing medleys that so many musicals open their third acts with and just does it so damn well. It functions as a piecemover that sets up the climax while also being absolutely fucking hilarious and giving almost every character a moment to shine, and that's not an easy thing to do. As the army of children prepare to go to war with their mothers who have already declared war on Canada while the devil gets ready to invade Earth and the dads of South Park prepare to be entertained, Parker and Stone kick things up a notch and go all Les Mis on us, and the result is a banger that's almost ready for Broadway. Just need to take out all the uncle-fucking first

11. The Hell of It (Phantom of the Paradise)

Okay, cards on the table time: I'm cheating slightly, because this song is never actually performed in the movie- only over the end credits- but Paul Williams did perform this in character on a Brady Bunch variety show in the mid-70s so I'm counting it because when else would I get a chance to talk about Phantom of the Paradise? A musical fuck-you to the buffoonish Beef with such venomous lyrics as "If I could live my life half as worthlessly as you, I'm convinced that I'd wind up burning too", The Hell of It just drips poison and I love every minute of it. Brian de Palma's rock opera-update on the classic Gaston Leroux tale is truly bonkers and spends every minute of its runtime jabbing at the monsters of the entertainment industry, so ending it with evil record producer Swan literally seething with so much hatred that it could only manifest itself through song was a touch of genuis

The lyrics are witty and sharp, the song itself is bouncy and catchy and Williams' voice is perfect for this. His tone is so mild that it's easy to see Swan bubble with passive-aggressive acid as he's destroying Beef's legacy line-by-line. The only thing keeping this out of the top ten is the lack of any kind of visual aspect to speak of. Yes he's performed it elsewhere but it really does feel like they wasted the best song in the film on the end credits, and given how raucous Phantom's staging is, it feels like such a missed opportunity not to have its villain kick off in fabulous fashion. All the same, I'm just glad we got it at all

And that does it for part one. Stay tuned as I rattle off my top ten musical numbers of all time. I'd recommend bringing an umbrella 

My Thoughts on Army of the Dead

Earlier this year, Zack Snyder finally got his long-awaited cut of Justice League out into the world, and putting aside personal views on both certain portions of his fanbase and the wider DCEU, it was a triumph for a creative vision stifled by studio interference and personal tragedy. ZSJL's journey from mythical meme to definitive version of Snyder's original vision is proof that every so often, the sheer power of fandom can do good, and it set Snyder up as the man of the hour, at the crest of the pop culture wave, with all eyes on what he'd do next. Army of the Dead had been on its way for a while but coming two months after the Snyder cut dropped gave it new context. It was always going to come out, but with Snyder firmly in the zeitgeist, it feels like best possible time for a Snyder-helmed zombie epic, done his way, especially given how this is a project that was similarly haunted by a long, difficult transition from script to screen

But enough context, what's actually happening in Army of the Dead? When a zombie outbreak leaves Las Vegas as a desolate, chaotic quarantine zone teeming with undead, a retired mercenary is sent in with a ragtag team to recover $200 million from a casino vault. It's a simple premise, but the joy of Army of the Dead comes from how far Snyder leans into it, fully embracing the gonzo, genre trappings a zombie heist and delivering huge, utterly bonkers setpieces from beginning to end

And as horror/action hybrids go, this is defintely an effective one. Snyder is firmly in the cockpit here, and his passion is infectious. There's a huge amount of sincerity to this film, and Snyder (along with co-writers Shay Hatten and Joby Harold) is careful to steer clear of any irony or self-referential winking. There's an obvious amount of love for genre cinema here and the amount of faith that's placed into such a ridiculous idea is exactly what makes it work. Synder takes the premise completely seriously while remembering to have fun with it, and that goes a long way in keeping the viewer engaged, ensuring that they can invest in the plot while also reveling in the sheer chaos of it all. It's a tricky tightrope to walk, but the film makes it look relatively smooth

Not that it's entirely seamless. The film is bursting with energy and never runs out of ideas but the 148 minute runtime really starts to make itself known after the first hour. AOTD is a blast, but a messy one, and as Snyder guides the viewer through Escape From New York if New York was Las Vegas and Also Filled With Zombies, the film really starts to feel bloated and sluggish. It's a shame too, because all of these ideas are good, and every character is effective and well utilised, but even with the extended runtime, there's a lot here that needed more time to breath. It's undeniably indulgent, and while that's a crucial part of its charm, it comes at the expense of the film's narrative flexibility. The conclusion is reaches is satisfying but it would have benefitted from being to the closer to a film that was slightly tighter, and a little leaner

But again, it's hard to criticise a film that wears its director's unabashed love for the weird and the wicked on its sleeve. Snyder throws everything at the wall, most of it sticks, and then an army of undead strippers mow the wall down and unleash the zombie tiger. The purity of Snyder's vision feels refreshing in a world of hollow blockbusters that thrive on brand-recognition, and his sincerity can been seen in every corner of the frame. Most poignantly, it shows itself in the central father-daughter relationship, which gives the film a strong emotional backbone and a palpable sense of heart, wonderfully brought to the screen by Dave Bautista and Ella Purnell. Bautista stands out among a fairly strong cast as a capable leading man who can shine in both huge moments of action and intimate character beats. He rejects the unbearable machismo of similar action heroes, playing Scott Ward as a man genuinely trying to make amends, and the decision to define him by quiet likability instead of brash bravado was a wise one that gives AOTD a leg up over some of its actioner contemporaries

Ultimately, it's an overstuffed, hugely indulgent, batshit crazy mess, made with so much passion, brio and genuine love that to call it either entirely good or bad would come with an impossible amount of caveats. Instead, we should celebrate the fact that filmmakers like Zack Snyder are making huge blockbusters with this level of flavour and weirdness at all. Not all of it works, but it's undoubtedly more interesting than your bog-standard made by committee, uber-forgettable blockbuster fluff. From its beautifully ridiculous opening credits sequence to the surprising emotional heft of the ending, Army of the Dead is unbalanced but incredibly watchable, and if it can make good on the proposed sequel and confirmed prequels, then maybe Snyder can keep up the hot streak he blazed into 2021 on and shower us with more exciting creations that only he could have made

★ ★ ★

The Fastathon Part 1: The Fast and the Furious (2001)

Why do we love these movies? The Fast and the Furious series has to be one of the most willfully stupid but enduringly fun franchises in all of cinema, and with the ninth (tenth?) entry speeding toward us quicker than big Vin can say the F word, I think it's time we go back to the beginning, and work our way right through the Fastverse on the road to F9. It's funny that a series about street racing turned into one that features some addictively cartoonish scrapes, but at its best, that's exactly what these films are, and I think that's worth exploring a little bit. So let's do it, and rewind the clock all the way back to 2001 to see where it all began...

The Fast and the Furious follows undercover cop Brian O'Connor in his attempts to infiltrate a gang of hijackers run by Dominic Toretto. As the mission goes on, O'Connor finds himself integrating further and further into the gang, bonding with Toretto and struggling to carry out his duty

For a series that garnered a reputation for huge, borderline sci-fi setpieces, it's funny how simple this film is. It's essentially Point Break with more DVD player theft, but not as good as Point Break and also not as delightfully homoerotic as Point Break. No, this is pure 2000s, all radical in-engine CGI effects and thumping hip-hop needledrops. To be fair, it holds up better than I thought it would, even if it does start a little rough. It only shows its age when compared to what followed it, although there's more than one line of dialogue that feels a little too 2001 for comfort. The plot's thin, even by this series' standard, and the Bigelow-riffing never feels anything more than lazy. The film never really expands on the cop-infiltration plot as much as Point Break does, and so it just feels kind of... underdeveloped

The same goes for the characters. Paul Walker was always the heart of the Fast films, but Brian had some rocky beginnings in this film. He's not even bad, he's just.... Johnny Utah, but with none of what made Keanu Reeves likable in that film. And no, I'm not going to fill this post with "pOiNt BrEaK DiD iT bEtTeR", but to be honest, there's a lot from this film that borrows from Point Break without ever really justifying that or doing anything interesting or different with it. Actually, that's a lie, because Dom in the first film is no Bodhi, I can tell you that much. I love Vin Diesel's gradual progression into a lovable chunk of biceps and good values but he's just so dull in this film, and it's hard to invest in his relationship with Brian when neither of them behave and speak like people. And that's a problem felt by the whole cast, unfortunately

It's not hard to see why most of these characters didn't become permanent fixtures in The Family, and with obnoxious turns and awful dialogue, I'm really happy that the road ended here for Jesse and Leon, and even happier that Vince came back less whiny in Fast Five. The super-charged magazine cover aesthetic comes at the cost of having characters we can actually care about. I mean even the most radical of 90s thrillers- which this weirdly insists on being despite the fact that it's from 2001- had characters that were at least memorable, but even the ones who'd go on to become fan favourites just come out of this looking painfully underwritten. And yeah, maybe you could argue that's not the point of an actioner like this, but isn't it? Think of what's great about this franchise and you inevitably come to characters like Han and Hobbs that have really become mainstays and taken on lives of their own as far as the series is concerned. It's an easy criticism to say that this film fails where its successors triumph but it's interesting to see what the Fastverse improved on as it progressed 

Alright, we've had our fun jabbing at this film's many central issues, but what's good here? Well, bizarrely, this film has a lot of really solid jokes. Yeah, bar the few that aged like milk, I was actually surprised at how often the film stopped to set up a gag, and even more surprised at how many of them landed. Something as simple as Letty absolutely ploughing a tough guy out of it in an impromptu race is obvious but hilarious, especially with how dreadfully seriously the rest of the film takes itself. Having said that, there's also a lot of lines that made me laugh for all of the wrong reasons ("NOBODY LIKES THE TUNA HERE!"). There's also something to be said for its beautifully dated aesthetic, which actually feels pretty endearing 20 years later. I don't know, there's something kind of charming about a film that's so invested in how cool and wild it is with zero self-awareness. It feels kind of... innocent? Yeah, weird to say I know but honestly it's the truth, and something that really made me smile

And even though most of the characters come up thin, I do think that Mia feels pretty decently established from the start. She's not the most well-rounded character but at least it feels like Jordana Brewster knows what she's doing, and the fact that the character stays pretty constant from here on out is something that I think this first outing can take credit for. The action is also pretty fun. Alright, maybe looking back now, it seems tame for a franchise that is 10000000% going to end with Dom and the gang travelling through time, but I do think the race sequences are thrilling, and the chases feature some pretty exciting action that holds up even now. It's both fast and furious- mindblowing I know- but the title really sums up director Rob Cohen's MO when it comes to putting this stuff to screen. Again, some of it feels a little basic, especially compared to 5's safe chase or 7's zombie cars but there's definitely something to be said about humble beginnings

And they don't get more humble than this. The Fast and the Furious is a weird one. It was a rough note for the mega-franchise to start on, and I'll say once more that it certainly ain't Point Break, but for what we did get, it could have been worse. It just feels like a very middle of the road car film, and I'm so happy that they ended up taking it in the direction they did because I really can't imagine this franchise being as successful or enjoyable as it is if it had continued on this path. Still, there's fast cars and guys being dudes, so thankfully some things haven't changed too much