Ah shit, here we go again
Star Wars. Star Wars is back. And you know what? I'm kind of sick of it. And it's not that I'm not a fan, I am, but my god when will it end? I like the original trilogy a lot, and I definitely rate them highly as far as blockbusters go. The prequels aren't something I have an especially strong opinion on. They're fine, if largely forgettable attempts at following the unfollowable. And I've really enjoyed the sequel trilogy up to this point. Force Awakens was a pretty pleasant surprise when it came out, and I really admire how The Last Jedi flips the script and dares to do something different. But here's the thing: I don't really care anymore. And none of that comes from the new trilogy itself, because that's been solid, but I think it's a combination of two things that's really made me gone quite cold on the idea of any new Star Wars.
The first is the constant stream of new content. I think Rogue One is great, structurally tight, fast-paced and absolutely massive in its spectacle, but also not something that we absolutely needed. Happy we got it, just not entirely certain it needed to happen. Ditto for Solo, except I don't really like that film at all. I mean, I did when it came out, because it does half a breezy charm to it, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that 1) it's literally the least necessary piece of backstory ever that threatens to ruin the charm of the originals through sheer over-explanation and refusal to let anything just be and 2) the fact that there was so much chaos behind the scenes is unfortunately impossible to ignore, making it the poster child of Disney's questionable film-production methods. And even outside of that, the constant news of spin-off series and prequel series means that there's just so much Star Wars. It's weird that with The Force Awakens, the idea of a new, big-budget, mainstream Star Wars production was such a big deal, but I think, the more you do something like this, the more you risk hitting a point of diminishing returns. So much Star Wars in the space of 5 years means that it's kind of hard to care anymore, unless they do something really new and interesting. Kind of like The Last Jedi actually, which was great because.... actually, you know what? We'll get back to The Last Jedi later
The second reason I kind of don't care about Star Wars anymore is because of all the discourse. The very small, incredibly toxic portion of the fanbase is obviously terrible, and put a damper on things anyway, but it's hard to enjoy these movies anymore because of their size, and the size of the discussion around them. It's one of those things where, with so many people with so many wildly different, passionately argued and occasionally absolutely crazy takes on a movie about space wizards, I begin to find it harder and harder to find something to say. It's awesome to see people that are genuinely enthusiatic and completely positive about these films, and I fully understand that the toxic fanboys make up a really small amount of the fanbase, but I just don't have the level of passion for Star Wars to get especially worked up either way, and although I enjoy the movies, and respect and admire them, and like writing about them, participating in this kind of online discussion just doesn't give me any joy. It just makes me kind of tired, and make me a little tired of these movies in general. And I'll be clear: this is an entirely personal thing. I love that these films are inspiring such an active discussion (talking movies is the best thing on the planet), but I'm just not sure if I'm invested enough to want to join in
Quick spoiler warning before we get going, because I can't really talk about how confused this film is without getting into the juicy details. Ye haveth been warnedeth
So yeah, I was anticipating The Rise of Skywalker, but I wasn't exactly excited. Sorry if this review is coming off a little cynical, it's just that this is one of the most frustratingly creatively numb films in recent memory. The issue is that, after The Last Jedi backlash, it's obvious that Disney want to backtrack, to please everyone and deliver the most inoffensive film possible. Yes, the franchise is back in the capable hands of J.J. Abrams, for the most bizarrely fine ending to a trilogy that kind of demanded better. I mean, you're dealing with Star Wars, probably the most prominent and beloved mythology in pop culture. Much of this film is spent dialling back on almost everything Last Jedi did, from kind of unkilling Luke (I mean he's still technically dead, but having him as a ghost lets them do damage control for unsatisfied fanboys) to giving Rose significantly less screentime, which actually feels more insulting because instead of giving her something to do and developing her character, they all but remove her to pander to toxic fanboys. I wouldn't have an issue if it wasn't so transparent in how it did this, and this kind of self-conscious storytelling takes so much away impact away from moments that should feel huge. It's the end of a saga after all (for now). But no, instead of trying something different, or even doing more of the same but better, it plays out like a bizarre fanfiction, more concerned about pleasing everyone than actually doing something risky or different
And look, I'm not asking for Lars Von Trier's Star Wars (although...) but I just think that large, well known stories only stay exciting if they're innovative. Keeping an intense focus on Rey and Kylo is fine, but sidelining almost every other character in the process completely snuffs out any potential that they could have had, making for the safest possible story that takes the basic components that've been around since Force Awakens, pretty much abandoning most of them and honing in on what is most reliably liked. What you actually end up with from this fear of doing something fresh is a horrible kind of faux-subversion, doing what nobody will expect in a way that's grounded in nothing, is saying nothing, and generally just exists to take the story in a different direction.... because. That's not innovation, that's hollow, nonsensical spontaneity. That's right folks, I'm talking about the Rey reveal
I really liked the revelation that Rey's parents were nobodies. Oh don't get me wrong, I know people had problems with it, but I loved that message that a great hero could come from anywhere. Especially in a franchise as big as this one, a moral like that is awesome to see. And it brings the story in a direction that doesn't feel tied to its past. After all, the first two instalments in the trilogy seemed to be gradually drifting away from the legacies of old, conclusively ending the stories of the characters we know to make room for a new generation of heroes, who may be unknown now but soon they'll be.... yep, she's a Palpatine. What? This is a decision that I disagree with on a fundamental level. I like Rey as a character an awful lot, especially after The Last Jedi, and I think that Daisy Ridley puts in an absolutely ace performance in every film, but the decision to have her as the Emperor's granddaughter was.... a choice. Apart from bringing up serious questions about his sex life, this is a revelation that makes no sense. What is this saying? That no, there is a chosen one, don't listen to the previous film. It's not even the message I have a problem with, it's the inability to stick to a decision because some people didn't like it. So is this a way to have Rey confront her inner darkness? Yeah, but in the worst possible way. Rey has evil in her because she's related to the Emperor. Yep, any potential for her to explore that just kind of isn't, instead being reduced to something she can conquer by defeating him. And there's your neat, happy ending. And again, I don't need this film to be a morally complex, nihilistic Werner Herzog-esque epic, but this far into this story, is it too much to ask for a little substance?
It's not that it's all bad though, the first half an hour is decently paced (even if the suddenly not-very-dead emperor is just.... never explained), and quite thrilling. But then it just becomes a mish-mash of fakeout tension (Chewie's not-death) and random worldbuilding for the sake of it (Keri Russell I'm so sorry). In these moments, it's everything Star Wars is at its worst, something emphasised by the previously mentioned fact that nothing really makes sense. Look, I don't set out to not like Disney's blockbusters, but this was just very not it, man. Actually, real quick: watch Mary Poppins Returns. It's Disney reviving an iconic cinematic story in a way that keeps everything great about the original while also building on it to make something new. It's everything that this isn't, and if that wasn't enough it's got Chris O'Dowd as an animated dog who drives a carriage, which is something that this film is sorely lacking.
So yeah, The Rise of Skywalker is bad. It's not without its merits, but bad decision after bad decision makes this one of the most disappointing blockbusters in years. It's so creatively sterile, so flat and frustrating, such a waste of a genuinely exciting storyline. If The Last Jedi was exciting because it was fresh, then this is the complete opposite. Literally, it's that film reversed, because Disney don't want to step on the toes of the worst fanboys in the filmverse. It's well-made, but so horribly written, so bizarrely told, and just so... corporate feeling. It feels like a product, like the worst of Disney's output. It annoys me as a fan, but it's also just such a draining film to watch, because it's such a mess. It's an annoyingly neat conclusion to an all-over-the-place trilogy. Oh Star Wars, when will you just end?
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